Everyone wants to be happy, but most people look in all the wrong places. As Christians, it seems like sometimes we are taught to not even seek happiness. Instead, we are to seek joy. There is a lot of good to be said about seeking joy, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. There is nothing wrong with even seeking to be happy, as long as you do it God’s way. We know that God’s Word holds the recipes for both true joy and true happiness, but often we are just as clueless as the world about how to obtain those elements. There are many ways that you can find Biblical happiness, but today I want to focus on just a few verses from the end of Psalm 127 and through Psalm 128.
These passages deal quite a bit with marriage and family, so some of this is looking down the road to your future. Honestly, when do you think you should learn about your marriage and family? Before you get there, so you can strive to follow God’s plan when you get there? Or should you learn when it’s time to start picking a husband and starting a family? (Ok, fun fact, I love math. I know most of you are haters, but I’m writing, not you, so deal with it!) Typically you start learning fractions in the 3rd to 5th grade range. Do you really need them at that point? Probably not. But, if you wait till you need them for algebra, you will be in a huge mess. You would be way behind because you did not prepare. Yet, a lot of us face marriage and raising a family that way. We don’t think it’s something to worry about till we get there. Big mistake. You determine your own happiness quite a bit by your internal decisions like walking with the Lord, your outlook on life, etc. I would dare say that as far as external situations go, nothing will affect your happiness like your husband. A great husband and marriage bring lots of joy. A poor choice in that same area will affect your daily life quite a bit as well. So, that being said:
Psalm 128 - Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children, and peace upon Israel.
The first verse promises blessings for everyone that fears God and obeys Him. The rest of the chapter seems to be written to a husband. He works hard and is then able to have food for his family. His family is a joy to him, and they reap the blessings of His choices in life. God will bless you if you fear and obey Him (vs. 1 again), but if you marry a husband who does not chose to fear and obey God, look at the blessings you could miss out on. There are so many blessings that come directly from a godly husband. If you ever get married, this is talking to you. You can not force anyone else to be godly. If you do not marry a godly man, don’t expect the blessings that come from one. Many, many women are married to ungodly men, yet they are trying to live godly themselves. At that point, many women just quit and give up. Those who continue to try to live godly are so sorrowful over the ungodly husband. Yes, they may still be in love. Yes, they may love their kids. But, marriage and family will never be all it could be, and will always have that sorrow around it. If you get married, let it be to a godly man. So, if you date, let it only be to a godly man. Kick those ungodly boys right out of your heart.
Just another thought on happiness from the same area of the Bible:
Psalm 127:3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Society at large does not see children as a blessing anymore. I am not saying that you have to be a stay at home mom someday. I am saying that children are a blessing, and if you do stay at home with them, enjoy it! If you don’t see future children as a blessing, pray about it and ask the Lord to help you change your heart to follow His in that area.
Ok, a lot of that is future for most of you, so what can you take away for today?
Psalm 128:1 Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways. I think that explains itself, so get going woman!
Kick those ungodly boys out of your heart. (A couple clarifications here: godly is not a boy who says he is saved. Godly is a boy who is doing everything he can to be like God wants him to be. Also, “out of your heart” isn’t that you never see/talk to him, but he has no special place in your heart, and you aren’t plotting ways to “accidentally run into him” so you can randomly have conversations while you pretend you stopped focusing on him.) Relationships develop through time and attention. If there is a boy in your heart, and he is not godly; cut the attention and limit the time. Mentally pack his bags and put them on the curb. Better yet, throw his junk all over the street! Don’t even waste your time with neatly packing. Just sling it all over the place. Just get it out of your heart. Easy? NO! Important? YES! As you cut the attention and time off, it will slowly get better. Promise. (This doesn’t mean find a replacement boy to load your time and attention on. It’s ok to be single. Say it out loud. It’s ok to be single! Do it again, with more volume. IT’S OK TO BE SINGLE! One more time till you believe it! It’s ok to be single. It’s also ok to be interested in a godly boy when you are close to the age of marriage and your parents are ok with it. But, it’s NOT ok to feel that you aren’t good enough if you are single. Don’t argue with me! It’s very dangerous to get to the point where you think you HAVE to like someone. That leads to settling for the wrong ones. Then you have to go back up to the beginning of point 2 and start all over!)
A lot of happiness is found in family. We talked mostly of your future family, but you are also in one now. Are you making your parent’s family a happy place for them? Are you making your family a happy place for your siblings? Is your family a happy place for you (not in a selfish way)? If your family is not a happy place for any member, you probably know what you could do to help out with that situation. So go do it.