Three practical reasons why your child doesn't want to go to church:
Reason #1 - Young people are sinners!
Teenagers are just like adults when it comes to church attendance. A simple reason teens do not desire to come to church is because they are struggling with sin and the preaching of the Word of God reveals it. No one enjoys being told they are wrong. The truth is that when we live contrary to God’s Word, we are wrong! In John 3:19-21, Jesus explains this principle to Nicodemus.
John 3:19-21
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.
If you have a young person that does not desire to be in the house of God, but claims to be a believer, they may be struggling with sin in their hearts. This is not necessarily a failure in parenting, but it is a sign that Satan is after their heart. If you believe your child is struggling with sin, as parents, you must engage in the fight with them. You cannot believe that they will “grow out of it.” Pray and ask God to give you wisdom (James 1:5) as you seek to help your child. Remember, the enemy is not your child but Satan himself. Spend time in the truth of the Word of God and with love help them deal with the sin in their lives.
Reason #2 - There are hypocrites in the church!
““A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian... and most of all, his family ought to know.””
This is usually the reason that every young person gives. Many times it is an excuse, but in some teenagers’ minds this is a big deal. The problem is there will always be hypocrites in the church. Jesus addressed this multiple times in His day. (Matthew 23:25; Mark 7:6; Luke 13:11-16) The reason for this excuse is usually tied in with our first reason given in this post. Most young people (and adults) will justify their sin, because someone else’s appears to be worse. As a parent we must take the lead by being an example of godliness (Not in sinless perfection, because we cannot do that, but we can strive to pattern our lives after Christ). The difficulty is most young people do see many hypocrites in the church, rather than looking for the Christ honoring examples. I hope as a parent you will seek to be like Paul in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.” D. L. Moody once said, “A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian... and most of all, his family ought to know.” Our goal as parents should be that our young people learn through our lives that the hypocrite is not an illustration of the true believer, but a life surrendered to Christ is “looking unto Jesus”. (Hebrews 12:2)
Reason #3 - Church is not a priority!
The last of the three reasons is usually the most common. Church is simply not a priority. This doesn’t mean you don’t attend church, it’s just that everything is more important than church. Sports, entertainment, and pleasure are all more important than church. What does a Sunday morning look like in your home? Just a second, let’s back up. What does Saturday night look like in your home? How late do the television or video games stay on? How late does your family go to bed? I talk to teenagers almost every Sunday morning that look like zombies, because they stayed up all night “having fun.” On a very practical level, there are very few places I desire to go after a night of minimal sleep. The real problem though, goes deeper than that. The real problem is that God Himself, is not a priority in our lives. His name is on the framed prayers in our homes and His Word is out as decoration, but the only time His name is mentioned is when it is taken in vain on our televisions. Deuteronomy demonstrates what a Christian home should look like.
Deuteronomy 6:5-7
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.