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Parents
Five habits every Christian parent must develop:
Our lives are busy! I think every parent would agree with that. The problem is in all of our busyness, sometimes we fail to accomplish the tasks that are important to ourselves and our families. I understand that these are not new principles, but they are incredibly important, so stay with me please. Here are five basic habits that every Christian parent needs to develop.
1. Reading the Word of God.
I told you they were basic! But let me ask you, how much time have you spent in God’s Word today? As youth pastor, I am constantly trying to encourage young people to spend time in God’s Word. My prayer would be that their parents would be modeling that desire for God’s Word. Our goal as parents should be to be characterized like the “blessed man” in Psalms 1. “But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.” (Psalm 1:2)
2. Studying the Word of God
Somewhere in our “Christian culture” we have made reading the Bible synonymous with studying the Bible. As parents, what are we personally learning from God’s Word? What are we actively investigating and pondering from the Bible? Our young people need parents, who are digging deep into the truth of the Scripture. There are many Christian families who are being deceived, because they are waiting to stumble across truth rather than pursuing truth. Paul urged Timothy “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15) Though our schedules are full, we must make time to study the Word of God.
3. Memorizing the Word of God
The first two principles are pretty standard although not always practiced. This third principle is not as common. For some reason, we equate Scripture memorization with children’s church or the Christian school. As adults we have “valid” reasons for not memorizing scripture. “I don’t have time in my busy schedule to memorize God’s Word.” “ I have a terrible memory.” The Bible makes Scripture memory an imperative! Psalm 119:11states “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” Joshua 1:8 declares “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth…” Colossians 3:16 says “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom…” During Jesus ministry, He quoted Scripture numerous times. (Matthew 4:4,7,10; Matthew 13:15; Luke 4:18-19; and many others) The reason we must memorize the Word of God is because we need truth in our hearts. Today, we have copies of the Bible on our shelves, on our mobile devices, and on the decorations in our houses, but not in our hearts. Young people need to see their parents striving to memorize Scripture.
4. Praying
What are you praying about as a parent? We all carry needs and burdens on our hearts for our families. But how much time do we actually spend in prayer. We have been commanded to “Pray without ceasing.”(1 Thessalonians 5:17) Paul told the Philippian church “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” (Philippians 4:6) Prayer is a fundamental of the Christian life. E. M. Bounds said it well when he said “ The little estimate we put on prayer is evidence from the little time we give to it.” A Christian father and mother must make time to pray! We must pray with our children and for our children. Imagine the testimony to God’s power when a child sees a parent pray and God answer!
5. Worshiping and Magnifying Christ outside of Church
Colossians 3:16-17 demonstrates that we are to live lives dedicated to our Lord. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.” Do we give praise or sing to God in our homes? In many homes we have created an environment where their is “home life” and there is “church life”. I believe this can be one of the most confusing and frustrating situations in a Christian home. A child sees a parent “worship” God at church, but at home His wonderful works are not mentioned. D. L. Moody once said, “A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian… and most of all his family ought to know.” Sing Christ-exalting music in your home! Praise the Lord in your home! Allow your children to see God doing exciting things in your life!
These five principles are simple truths, but they are not always easy to accomplish. May we as Christian parents work hard to implement these godly habits. Yes, our schedules are hectic and our lives are busy, but these simple habits are important!
Three practical reasons why your child doesn't want to go to church:
Reason #1 - Young people are sinners!
Teenagers are just like adults when it comes to church attendance. A simple reason teens do not desire to come to church is because they are struggling with sin and the preaching of the Word of God reveals it. No one enjoys being told they are wrong. The truth is that when we live contrary to God’s Word, we are wrong! In John 3:19-21, Jesus explains this principle to Nicodemus.
John 3:19-21
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.
If you have a young person that does not desire to be in the house of God, but claims to be a believer, they may be struggling with sin in their hearts. This is not necessarily a failure in parenting, but it is a sign that Satan is after their heart. If you believe your child is struggling with sin, as parents, you must engage in the fight with them. You cannot believe that they will “grow out of it.” Pray and ask God to give you wisdom (James 1:5) as you seek to help your child. Remember, the enemy is not your child but Satan himself. Spend time in the truth of the Word of God and with love help them deal with the sin in their lives.
Reason #2 - There are hypocrites in the church!
““A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian... and most of all, his family ought to know.””
This is usually the reason that every young person gives. Many times it is an excuse, but in some teenagers’ minds this is a big deal. The problem is there will always be hypocrites in the church. Jesus addressed this multiple times in His day. (Matthew 23:25; Mark 7:6; Luke 13:11-16) The reason for this excuse is usually tied in with our first reason given in this post. Most young people (and adults) will justify their sin, because someone else’s appears to be worse. As a parent we must take the lead by being an example of godliness (Not in sinless perfection, because we cannot do that, but we can strive to pattern our lives after Christ). The difficulty is most young people do see many hypocrites in the church, rather than looking for the Christ honoring examples. I hope as a parent you will seek to be like Paul in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.” D. L. Moody once said, “A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian... and most of all, his family ought to know.” Our goal as parents should be that our young people learn through our lives that the hypocrite is not an illustration of the true believer, but a life surrendered to Christ is “looking unto Jesus”. (Hebrews 12:2)
Reason #3 - Church is not a priority!
The last of the three reasons is usually the most common. Church is simply not a priority. This doesn’t mean you don’t attend church, it’s just that everything is more important than church. Sports, entertainment, and pleasure are all more important than church. What does a Sunday morning look like in your home? Just a second, let’s back up. What does Saturday night look like in your home? How late do the television or video games stay on? How late does your family go to bed? I talk to teenagers almost every Sunday morning that look like zombies, because they stayed up all night “having fun.” On a very practical level, there are very few places I desire to go after a night of minimal sleep. The real problem though, goes deeper than that. The real problem is that God Himself, is not a priority in our lives. His name is on the framed prayers in our homes and His Word is out as decoration, but the only time His name is mentioned is when it is taken in vain on our televisions. Deuteronomy demonstrates what a Christian home should look like.
Deuteronomy 6:5-7
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
The sad part it is, this seems like extreme Christianity to us today. It sounds extreme to have a home where God’s Word is passionately taught by parents and only supplemented by the Christian school and the youth group. It seems crazy to only listen to music that supports Biblical principles and praises our Heavenly Father. It would be awkward to have a conversation as a family about the awesome things God has shown us from our time alone with Him. It’s more natural for us to talk about sports, entertainment, or even our problems. When God is not a priority in our homes, a young person will struggle with understanding the importance of getting up early, driving to a building, to pretend God is important one day a week. We must make Christ a priority in our homes.
Every teenager is fighting a spiritual battle, and they need spirit-filled parents and a Christ-centered church, whether they know it or not. So whether your young person is struggling with sin, upset by all the hypocrites, or they fail to see the importance of God’s house, parents must train up their children in the way they should go, praying and seeking God’s wisdom every step of the way. Don’t get discouraged! Stay faithful! One day we will see the fruit of a Christ-honoring home.
"I spoke with a man who has been in family ministry for several decades. I couldn’t resist in the course of our conversation asking for a bit of counsel. In answer to a parenting question, he said this, “Cary, everywhere I go, I ask parents what is their number one goal for their children. They usually answer, ‘I just want them to be happy.’” He proceeded to say, “That’s the stupidest answer anyone could ever give. Happiness is no parenting goal. A child can giggle his way straight to Hell. Now joy, on the other hand, is a much higher goal, because true joy comes from knowing Christ and doing His will.” Most parents’ greatest fear is their own children’s unhappiness. We cannot bear to see them disappointed, let down, or unhappy. We cannot deal with their sorrow. And all too often, we allow our fear of their unhappiness to keep us from truly helping them discover lifelong joy. Friend, when it comes to rules, rebellion, and relationships—make joy your goal and don’t fear a necessary moment of unhappiness that will lead to lifelong joy. The last time I checked, the dentist office wasn’t a very happy experience—but having healthy teeth surely is a blessing!"
Schmidt, Cary (2008-12-02). Hook, Line, & Sinker: How the Enemy is Dividing and Destroying the Christian Family (Second Edition) (p. 127). Striving Together Publications. Kindle Edition.
Great article by Abbi Perets from MacWorld. It's a great read for every parent!
We may not endorse everything on this page, but the article linked is well worth considering.
In case you missed it...
Spiritual environments do not compensate for parental absence. -Cary Schmidt
This is a 13 week study that will help to break down the process of being transformed into the image of Christ, as well as the process of becoming an effective disciple of Christ and teacher of His Word. The class is designed to encourage an intensive daily study of God's word so that you can understand and apply biblical change in your life as a believer. We will learn how to pass these basic tenants of a spirit filled life to our children through practical and specific examples. Our journey will take us through the process of understanding and putting off the flesh, renewing our minds through a cleansing by the word, and putting on the new man which reflects God's holiness and righteousness. Come join us for weekly instruction and discussion on how to disciple our children in the truth of God's word. The recommended text and study guide can be used as a daily devotional for home study and family discussion. Rob Buchalski will be teaching this class in the upper room. We hope you'll make plans to attend!
5 Signs You Need to Get Serious About Internet Filtering
»Have you noticed your kids either turning away if you come close while they are texting or panicking when they can’t find their phones? Do they ever get excessively angry when you take their phone?«
aaronburden recommended this article from blog.internetsafety.com
This is the set of rules from Janelle Hofmann given to her son for his new iPhone. Although I may not agree with every sentnce in this "contract", it is wise for every parent to have rules regarding technology use.
'WITH THE ACCEPTANCE OF THIS GIFT COMES RULES': THE AGREEMENT
1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?
2. I will always know the password.
3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever.
4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.
5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.
6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.
7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others.
8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.
10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person - preferably me or your father.
11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.
12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.
13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.
14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO -- fear of missing out.
15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.
16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.
17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.
18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.
via abc.com